a word from my surgeon

well, I spoke to Dr. Memsic, my surgeon. Regarding my pathology report she actually said

" I guess you will have to live happily ever after." What a thrill, after all these months of not great news, it is such a shock although not really. She didn't mention chemo or radiation and so I asked...

" don't you want to offer me chemo or radiation?"

she said NO... ! I guess the report was so good she doesn't think I need it, not that I would have done it anyway, but it is nice not to have to explain to everyone why I wasn't doing what the Dr. advised .... I got my drains out yesterday, that felt like a slippery monster with wet tentacles was pulled out of my back... (I just watched Hellboy) and I made a gasping dramatic noise ... because I imagined that monster, not because it hurt. It is so great I can't even explain. I have a scar running up the middle of my new breast with a little tape on it, I think there are stitches that will dissolve because I don't have to see the dr. for 3 months... also I haven't really looked under the tape...and the same kind about 3" long around the side on my bra line... that is where they took the muscle and "flipped it around" ( the doctor's assistant's words ) there is a dent above the breast in my chest and my armpit looks weird...everything should settle down and look pretty good in a couple months. Still, it is pretty sore but who cares? Not me.

xo

it is ALL good news

I am celebrating!

I got the results of the pathology report yesterday and I ACED it.

Here is my breakdown... they removed 700 grams of tissue and 5 lymph nodes. All the margins are clean ( no cancer cells were close to the edges ) and no cancer at all in the lymph nodes. This kind of means they got it all!

Most of the cancer was the not scary kind... DCIS. The invasive cancer was so small they could not grade it... microinvasion only, many sites all smaller than 0.1 cm.... My needle biopsy from a year ago showed DCIS about 6 cm and invasive cancer at least 2 cm.... this dissection showed no invasive cancer larger than 0.1 cm... so I think maybe something I did shrunk it... I will never know .... in the report in a comment section it says "a larger focus of carcinoma may have been present in the prior biopsy." Take that!

My big underlying fear was that they would find spreading into the lymph nodes... that would mean it could be in other places in my body. But clean nodes are the best possible things. I am so thrilled and relieved.... my mom is absolutely beaming with joy. Every time I check in with myself to see how I am doing it is such a relief and wave of happiness.... I have spent so long quietly talking myself out of fearful thoughts and dark fantasies I didn't realize what a bummer it was... and I also can't believe this whole thing might just be over, what if it is? ...I also got some good results from Dr. Reiss, my gynecologist who did a lot of blood tests and a thermogram ( heat sensitive imaging ) and he has me on a million supplements that do some really interesting things. The best news from him is that I had 0(zero) cancer stem cells in my blood. this means there are no cancer cells roaming around trying to make new colonies. Also he is balancing a lot of hormones and decreasing my inflammation. So much info, too much to write...

I haven't had a conversation with my surgeon yet but I will this weekend and I will understand it better. I am guessing they will offer me chemo because this is a reoccurance of cancer and I think that is the standard thing to do... I will not take it though, I think I can manage from here.